Welcome back everyone! I’m happy to report that I did do some running this past week. However, I was also sick for most of the week, so I only got about 2.2 miles in.

My neck started to hurt on Monday, and then on Wednesday I woke up with a fever and very swollen lymph nodes. I spent Wednesday and Thursday in bed. On Friday, I went back to work, but I still wasn’t feeling the greatest, so I didn’t want to push anything too far.

Sunday was the first day of the week that I felt like I could actually run, so that’s what I did. It was pretty rough, and I didn’t feel super great about the run afterwards. Below are my thoughts that I typed up after my run yesterday. I wanted to write how I was feeling in that moment, because I was unsure if I’d be able to capture it again today.  

Honest Thoughts After Sunday’s Run

Hey everyone, so this is a little look into the past for a second, because I am actually writing this section right after the run I did on Sunday. I honestly just finished my post-run stretches like two minutes ago.

Today I really wanted to run. I’m sure I mentioned earlier about how I was sick for most of the past week and still trying to recover the rest of the days. Today was the first day that I thought, “Yeah, I could run.”

After I got off of work today, my goal was to run. It was a really beautiful day, with a high in the low to mid 80s, so I knew an evening run would be perfect.

I finished eating dinner around 6:15 p.m. I had sloppy joes and potato chips – not a great pre-workout meal, but I still one of my favorites. After that I knew I needed to let the food settle a little, so I decided at 7:30 p.m. I’d probably be good to run.

I read a book for about an hour, and then I went and put on my running shoes. It felt so good to put on my running shoes after not wearing them for a couple of weeks! I filled up my water bottle, and looked outside. The temperature was probably around 72, and it looked absolutely gorgeous out there.

However, I was nervous about running outside alone. I know I probably would’ve been fine, but I let the fear convince me just to run on the treadmill…again. Plus, I told myself I would probably need to take it easy today, and it is very easy to control my pace while still challenging myself a little on the treadmill.

I felt awkward running at first. I tried to go at the pace that I was building up to the last time I ran. That was a few weeks ago when I had been more consistent with my running schedule. Needless to say, I was not ready to go that speed.

I took it a little slower. I was able to run for a longer period of time than I initially thought, which I was pleased with. I took quite a few walking breaks, and managed to go about 2.2 miles in 30 minutes.

I’m still pretty disappointed with this time. I was really hoping that I would be able to pick up at a pace closer to what I had left off with. I know I hadn’t been doing much running recently, but I have still been doing quite a bit of walking at work. However, this obviously did not supplement my running enough.

I also started to get a slight headache while I was running, and it’s still kind of there.

I’m really starting to doubt my ability to actually train for a half marathon. I need to be able to do runs outside, so I guess I’ll need to figure out some way to get my butt out of the door to do that. I also need to be able to follow a more consistent training schedule, but things have just been popping up these past couple of weeks that make it very difficult to accomplish that.

Usually after I run, I feel strong and confident. Today, I just feel weak and tired. I have about two weeks before I need to actually start my training schedule for the half marathon. I hope I can shape up before then, otherwise I’m not sure what I’ll do.

My Plan for the Week

So, after reading that I’m sure you can tell that I wasn’t feeling very confident about this whole running thing yesterday. After I wrote that out, I sat down with my running journal and made a plan about when I was going to run this week. I took into account my work schedule and other things happening in my life.

Also, last night my boyfriend mentioned to me that he would be interested in running with me every now and then if he could make it work with his schedule.

Today, we were able to run together and have made plans to go running again later in the week. I am feeling much better about my ability to train for a half marathon now. However, I still think it’s important that I left that section from yesterday in today’s post.

I don’t always feel great after I finish a run. Sometimes I get really annoyed with myself that I’m not better than I am. Most of the time I feel really amazing when I see what all I’ve been able to accomplish, but other times I am not able to look at things that way. I really just wanted to make sure that everyone knew that this process of becoming someone who can run a half marathon can be hard. Sometimes it is very easy for me to get overwhelmed and start doubting myself. I even still feel a little guilty calling myself a runner, because I haven’t been running lately and I don’t usually run that fast or far.

I am working to be better though. I am a runner, because I run. I don’t do it every day, and I might not always go super far, but I run.

Motivation Monday

“You won’t always be motivated. You have to learn to be disciplined.” – Unknown

Okay, that’s all for this week! I hope your week goes well, and you start accomplishing some of your goals, too! Also, I only have two weeks until I officially start my half marathon training. Ahh! I’m both nervous and excited.

Week 15:  
Miles run this week: 2.2
Miles run total: 54.20
Overall mood: Hopeful